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Nugget Man

from Gumbo Pants by Paul and Storm

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lyrics

Robert C. Baker died on a Monday
We all know his work, although few knew his name
A Cornell professor who taught poultry science
Forever enshrined in the poultry Hall of Fame
84 years worth of food innovations:
Chicken dogs, turkey dogs and turkey ham
Beyond them all stands Baker’s greatest creation
For Baker begat chicken nuggets for man

O, Nugget Man
O, Nugget Man
Headin’ on down to that old Promised Land
Happy the meals all have been since the day
That the Nugget Man came our way

Robert C. Baker, way back in the ‘50s
Changed the way children and college kids eat
When he invented a way to get breading
To adhere much better to raw chicken meat
His new method led fast food chains in the ‘80s
To develop and market a new bite-sized snack food
Made from mechanically recovered meat and anti-foaming products
Reconstituted meat slurry and extra chicken skin for its binding properties

O, Nugget Man
O, Nugget Man
Headin’ on down to that old Promised Land
Guts, feet and beaks now don’t get thrown away
Since the Nugget Man came our way

The King of the Burgers is mourning with Popeye
The Colonel arranged a 21-gun salute
The Church’s are silent, but for Wendy’s weeping
And Ronald has hung up his big yellow clown suit

Robert C. Baker’s last will was specific
That his bones be removed, and he be ground up real fine
And to place his remains into small cardboard coffins
And bury the pieces six at a time

O, Nugget Man
O, Nugget Man
Headin’ on down to that old Promised Land
Dipped into his honey-mustard filled grave
We’re glad the Nugget Man came our way
We’re glad the Nugget Man came our way

credits

from Gumbo Pants, released August 31, 2007

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Paul and Storm Arlington, Virginia

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