Ball Pit

by Paul and Storm

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released July 21, 2014

Produced by Paul and Storm

Recorded and mixed by Paul and Storm at Spare Bedroom Studios and Black Mold Studios, except:
“My Favorite Band” and “Dusty California” mixed by Mike Phirman at Phirmilab, Glendale, CA
“Right Here with You” mixed by Brendan Milburn at The Collaboratory, Glendale, CA
“You Left Me” additional recording and mixed by Alan Johnson at The Static Shack, Indianapolis, IN
“The Irish Sing-along Song” recorded live during JoCo Cruise Crazy 4 on MS Independence of the Seas

All music & lyrics by DiCostanzo/Sabourin (Sleestack Serenade Music, ASCAP/C.K. Dexter-Haven Music, ASCAP) except: "Gowanus Canal" lyrics by Michael J. Shay

All songs © & ℗ 2014 DiCostanzo/Sabourin, licensed under

Mastered by Alan Johnson at The Static Shack, Indianapolis, IN

Executive Producers: Susan and Geoff Engelstein, kallasar, Patti King

Co-producers: Jeff Cooper, Jon & Lara Frater, Semele & David Heller, Bryan R Mason

Associate Producers: Taylor Fisher, Andrew Hackard and Steve Jackson Games, Terry Heying, Jade Higashi, Gordon Limbaugh, Mark T. Olivo, Lynne Perdue, Erin M. Root, Erik Silva

And a tremendous Thank You to all of our Kickstarter backers!



Track Name: Write Like the Wind
George R. R. Martin, please write, and write faster
You’re not going to get any younger, you know
Winter is coming, I’m growing impatient
And you’ve still got two more damn books left to go
So write, George, write like the wind!

I curse the day that my friend ever loaned me
An old dog-eared paperback called Game of Thrones
How could I know that this seed would grow into
An addiction that held me, right down to my bones

Now, five books later, I lurk with the masses
Indignant, entitled, and waiting for word
That the great Bearded Glacier has finally published
Nine hundred more pages of crack for the nerds

Why does every new verse of your song
Keep taking you so goddamn long?

George R. R. Martin, please write, and write faster
please give us boiled leather, and sigils and steel
We need our allotment of incest and intrigue
And six page descriptions of every last meal
So write, George, write like the wind!

Lewis took five years to chronicle Narnia
Tolkien had twelve years, and Rowling took ten
Lucas spent nearly three decades on Star Wars
And we all know how that one turned out in the end

You’re not our bitch, and you’re not a machine
And we don’t mean to dictate how you spend your days
But please, bear in mind, in the time that you’ve had,
William Shakespeare churned out thirty-five friggin’ plays

And if you keep writing so slow
You’ll hold up the HBO show

George R. R. Martin, please write, and write faster
‘cause we won’t stop whining until we’re appeased
Crap out the chapters–and George, while you’re at it
Stop killing our favorite characters, please
And write, George, write…like the wind!

(George R.R. Martin, please write, and write faster
Before you are dead, George, please write like the wind)
Track Name: My Favorite Band
My favorite band
Doesn’t write new songs anymore
My favorite band
Hasn’t played a show in more than fourteen years

I know that I should let it go
Believe me, I have tried
But no other band can make me feel
The way I feel inside
When they sing

“Sha-na-na-na na-na-na”
I will never be untrue to my favorite band
“Sha-na-na na-na-na”
And I don’t care if no one understands

I thought they’d be around forever
Everything was A-OK
When they all played together
My favorite band

I needed a plan
To make everything better again
I rented a van
And I drove around to where each one of them lived

It took a lot of time
And all my powers of persuasion
And just a touch of chloroform
Now they’re all in my basement singing

“Sha-na-na-na na-na-na”
Reunited again, my favorite band
“Sha-na-na na-na-na”
And they all agree that I’m their biggest fan

And now they’ll be around forever
Everything is supercool
Now that they’re back together

My favorite band, they understand
The way things are now
All they have to do is play the songs that I love
Over and over and over
And in return they know
I’ll worship them forever
And make their favorite meals
And keep their cages clean
It’s a great deal

“Sha-na-na-na na-na”
Endless party with my favorite band
“Sha-na-na na-na-na”
A cappella with my favorite band

Here forever with my favorite band
Start the fade out with my favorite band
It puts the lotion on my favorite band
Track Name: This Song
This song could be in a commercial
It’s simple and acoustic, so it’s utterly non-threatening
And it’s pretty and sincere and there’s not too many words
You can talk about insurance or a car
In all the spaces inbetween

This song should be in a commercial
Or a montage in a movie where a young couple starts to fall in love
Or the credits of an independent film
We are looking for exposure, so please call
And we’ll hammer out a deal

Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaah, Aaaa aaaah

This song is gonna be in a commercial

(Ho ho hey ho!)

Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaah, Aaaa aaaah
Track Name: Right Here with You
Last night I watched you sleeping
Tenderly, I cried
Because there was no keeping down
The feelings deep inside

I knew that I was blessed
To be right there next to you
Mere words could not express it
How the love had filled me through

You were a vision—almost holy
As my teardrops kissed your head
Your eyes, they opened slowly
And you looked at me and said

Who are you?
How did you get into my room?
Get out get out go away what the hell I’m calling the cops oh my God get the hell out of here
And don’t you ever come back
Track Name: Dusty California
Hey there pretty lady
Good to see you after such a long long time
We’ve seen a lotta miles since the senior prom
But you still look the same

I headed west in a denim vest
With a guitar in my hand
I met a band of desperados
And together we rode for fame

We rambled around
Until we spotted the Pacific Ocean
We grew some killer beards and a mellow sound
Near the beach and the desert flowers

We made a fan of a record man
And he signed us to his label
Then a meteor hit us with some cosmic rays
And we all gained superpowers

We were
Dusty California
And the Arroyo Harbor Desperados
Fightin’ crime and heartbreak
From Ojai to Coronado
A serenading sunset crew
In a laid-back war with evil
Dusty California
Double-fisted balladeers

Derek played the drums
And he could shoot lasers out his eyeballs
Eddie rocked it steady on the rhythm guitar
And traveled back and forth in time

Trevor and Ace played the keys and bass
And could combine to form a robot
I could fly high like an airplane
And control things with my mind

We sold a lotta records
And we beat up a bunch of bad guys
We battled Doctor Z above the Hollywood Sign
After headlining at the Greek

We mopped the floor with Commander War
And her Sunset Strip Assassins
Eddie moved to Malibu and Ace dated Cher
And we rode up the charts for weeks

We were
Dusty California
Superhuman team of champions
Layin’ it down so easy
From Pasadena to Laurel Canyon
Every night we made our stand
Against crime and polyester
Dusty California
Caballeros heroicos

We were really cleanin’ up the town
Then disco came a-dancin’ in
Our record sales crashed down
I guess the good guys don’t always win

We walked away
Broke and broken-hearted
Half of the guys hooked up with other bands
Half joined the Super Friends

And me, at night, I sit awake and fight
With the demons of faded glory
But on better days instead of mopin’
I put on those boots again

Dusty California
And his Good Time Palominos
Every second Tuesday
At the Laughing Brave Casino
Crankin’ out those worn-out tunes
From a time when we used to matter
Dusty California
May the legend never die
Dusty California
Watch me ridin’ across the sky
Dusty California
Baby, smile and wave “bye-bye”
Track Name: You Left Me
You left me
You left me
Whoa, you up and left me
And nothin’ feels right anymore
It was your right, babe, I know
But still, it hurt to see you go
When you left me and walked right out that door

Too many years
Too many beers
Too many tears that you shed
I lied and I cheated, and dared you to walk away

You had enough
You packed your stuff
You called my bluff when you said
You were done bein’ mistreated, and you were leavin’ today

You told me you were taking half of everything with you
Then you lifted that axe and swung downward and through


Now I’m out of my head, and my poor heart is broken
I’m all inside-out, and the carpet is soakin'
I never thought that this “trial separation”
Would involve quite so much amputation

You were neglected
And dejected
Now I’m bisected and blue
I gotta give you a hand, babe; ‘cause the last laugh’s on me

Now I’m grievin’
‘Cause you’re leavin’
After cleavin’ me in two
And now I’m half of the man, babe, I once used to be

The heartache and the hurtin' that I can’t keep inside
Are like the blood, guts and organs that I can’t keep inside


I’m too weak now to fight it
The battle’s just too one-sided
Since you left me and walked right out that door
Track Name: Steely Dansplaining
With their fusion of rock and jazz
And funk and pop and R&B
They embodied the sound of the lonely early '70s male
His misanthropic disaffection
And his sad ennui

But judging by that look on your face
You still don’t don’t really get what I mean
So I’m gonna keep on explaining
Till you understand
That Steely Dan
Is the greatest band
That there’s ever been...
Track Name: The Irish Sing-along Song (live)
Though now I live across the sea, me thoughts, they often roam
Back to the hills and valleys of me old ancestral home
Me mother’s eyes, me sister’s laugh, the games we used to play
And the song me father taught me, I remember to this day
And he sang

Something something something something, la-da da-da dah
La da-da dee-dee da-da something something la-da dah
[Unintelligible] la-da dah
Oh, something something la-da da-da dah!

One day, around the forest glen, a’ wand’rin’ I did go
I came upon a leprechaun and grabbed him by his toe
He said “Dear boy, release me, and I’ll give ye’ all me gold
And sing to thee the secrets of the Celts in days of old”
And he sang


One night, well langers, I did spy a brasser o’ crimson hair
She fancied doggin’, so we bogged the ginnet then an’ there
Her skanger damo did a babs; shimozzle, lattytat
Grand cake nora go me teeth; the Saints, they reeled the spat
And they sang


I love to breathe the open air, I love a pint o’ plain
I love to court the ladies fair, Killarney to Coleraine
But most of all, I love to hear me father’s favorite song
Especially I love when everybody sings along...

Track Name: Thanksgiving
As this time of year comes round again I find myself reflecting
On all the things for which I’m grateful like my family and friendships
And the fact my life is relatively free from pain and tragedy
There’s so much I am thankful for; but, still…

If there’s someone or something out there responsible for all of this
And listening to me thank them, then I ask you, Sir or Madam
Would you kindly tell George Lucas to stop screwing with our Trilogy
And on behalf of all of us, say “George: please fucking stop”

I am thankful for the Firefly crew (especially for Kaylee)
And I am thankful I won’t live to see the rise of the machines
And I’m thankful that Joss Whedon is directing The Avengers
And speaking of directors: hey there, George…

A movie is a snapshot of the era it was made in
Like a painting or photograph, or even this song’s lyrics
And we won’t go back to change them if Avengers ends up sucking
We’ll just shrug and then we’ll go make something new
So fucking stop

Everybody knows Darth Vader didn’t say a goddamn word
When he threw the Emperor down the Death Star II’s reactor shaft
And Everybody knows that Greedo never even fired
When Han shoots first, it sets up his entire moral journey
Plus, it’s cool

I know that in the scheme of things, it’s just a first world problem
And there’s many more important issues even so, I’m asking you
That if you’re not too busy with the problems of the universe, and
If you have a moment I would sure appreciate

If you’d drop in on Mr. Lucas—maybe grab him by his neckbeard
And then vigorously shake him and say “George, it’s very simple:
Just release the goddamn Blu-Ray with the versions we remember
Then shut up and take our money, and then please
Please fucking stop”
Track Name: Sausage Party

Sausages! Sausages!
For every type of man!
Sausages! Sausages!
Grab ‘em while you can!


I’ve got a tubby, chubby fat one!
Mine is long and thin!
They all look so delicious!
I can’t wait to put it in!

Spicy meat’s a tasty treat
No matter where you work!
Check out my little wiener!
Try my big Jamaican jerk!


Reach down on the ground!
Pick it up and spin it round!
Or you can trade your bratwurst with a friend!
Poke it left! Shove it right!
Better bring your appetite!
You’ll be stuffed and groaning in the end!


Here at the sausage party
No two are the same
And whatever type of man you are
You’ll be glad you came!

Track Name: Holidays Song

Snowflakes, tinsel, presents, fruitcake, unto us a child is born
With angels’ tidings of great joy
Snowmen, eggnog, Secret Santa, candy canes and gingerbread
Pa-rum-pum-pum, the little drummer boy

Sleigh bells, holly, Dasher, Dancer, mistletoe and caroling
And wassail bowls and yuletide cheer
Helping everyone remember
It’s Thanksgiving through December
And Christmastime is here
The shittiest time of year

Fuck the holidays!
Fuck the holidays!

Chestnuts, Tiny fucking Tim, and dreidels and that kugel shit
And chocolate gelt and Christmas trees
Charlie Brown and Frosty, “Auld Lang Syne” and “Silent-fucking-Night”
And Judah and the motherfucking Maccabees

O Tannen-cocking-piss-baum, and that asshole queef Kris Kringle
And his shitbag fucking eight reindeer
Yes, Virginia, deck the halls, then fucking
Lick my fucking balls, because
Christmastime is here
The shittiest time of year

Fuck the holidays!
Fuck the holidays!
Fuck the holidays! (Fuck you!)
Fuck the holidays! (Fuck you!)
Track Name: Incompetent's Lament
All my life, I’ve been told you should do the things you’re good at
So what do you do when all you’ve ever done is fuck things up?

Some are strong
Some are brave
Some are smart
And other are strong, brave, handsome
But whaddya do with a guy who's only skill's to fuck things up?

It’s not that I don’t care
It’s not that I don’t pay enough attention
But you can bring me anywhere
And I’ll fuck things up

So before you go and do something foolish
Like spending your time with me
Just so’s ya know: I’m gonna find a way to fuck things up
Track Name: Gowanus Canal
Away down town, where the atmosphere is hazy
From the smoke of all the factories ascending to the sky
The smells, they are so horrid, it would almost set you crazy
But I'm told in that neighborhood the people seldom die
Way up on the "Slope" all of the people are complaining
From the foul scented odors all their health is quickly waning
And the smoke from the soft coal their linen it is staining
When the wind blows that way from Gowanus Canal

When the wind blows east, when the wind blows west
Or when it's from the north or south, you never get a rest
In summer or in winter, in the spring or in the fall
You breathe the same old odors from Gowanus Canawl

In fabled "Darby's Patch," oh that muddy stream, it rises
And down to sweet Gowanus Bay it rushes with a roar
Where barges and canal boats and schooners of all sizes
Are unloaded by Tom Hanley, the jolly stevedore
The girls you find down there are all so winsome and so pretty
And the boys they are so healthy; if not handsome, then they're witty
And all of you know Farrell--"he'll be Mayor of Slob City"--
He's thriving on the odors of Gowanus Canal

Track Name: (The Shadow War of the Night) Dragons of the Night
The night grows dark
Darker than the blackest night
Blacker than the darkest black
Nighter than the blackest dark
And in this deep dark lonely ancient shadow
Live the dragons of the night

As the watchmen keep their vigil in the tower
The night grows ever darker by the hour
While the peasants in their hovels quake and cower
For they know the deep dark blackness feeds the power
Of the dragons of the night

(Dragons) Where the hot winds blow
(War) And the wizard’s woe
(Shadow) Brave men fear to go
(Night) And a choir of demos chants a fateful warning
“Run and hide yourselves ‘til morning
From the dragons of the night…”
Track Name: Fuzzy Man (Fuzzy Nation)
Sometimes we need some time to breathe
Sometimes we need some time to cry
Sometimes we need some time to see
And sometimes all we need is just some time

But when fear and hope tear your heart apart
And your strength is on the run
You can find it again on the wings of a friend
As you’re climbing up to the sun

Fuzzy Man
How do you do the things you do?
The magic lives inside of you
Reaching out and shining through

And if I can
I will do everything I can
So won’t you help me to understand
And take my hand
Fuzzy Man?

Buzzin’ with the love o’ the Fuzzy Man
Does he give a damn ‘bout the cussin’ and the fussin’? No, he doesn’t
‘Cause he wasn’t in the master plan
So lend a hand
Won’t you help me take a stand
For the planet of the Fuzzy Man?



Spread your wings and fly away
Fly away, little Fuzzy Man
Maybe not fly, so much, ’cause you don’t have wings
I’m talkin’ ’bout the wings of your heart, little Fuzzy Man
I’m talkin’ ’bout your heartwings

Spread your heartwings and fly
Fly away to the sky
So high away…
Track Name: Lil' Guildies - Theme Song
Everyone come along
(Lil’ Guildies are questin’ again)
Singin’ a happy song
(Join the party with Codex and friends)

Tink and Clara come a’ runnin’ on the double again
Zaboo’s sneakin’ up for a cuddle again
Embryonic Bladezz is makin’ trouble again
And Vork’s got a monkey (a-whoa-oh-oh)

Lil’ Guildies are on the case
(Makin’ music and solvin’ crime)
And also, they’re in outer space
Friends of your and mine
It’s time for Lil’ Guildies time!
Track Name: When I Grow Up
I was in the hospital for a long time
With a brain tumor and stuff
But now that I'm better
I’m gonna try a bunch of jobs I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid...

I’ll be a dancer and a drummer
And a doctor and a pilot
And a rapper and a runner
And a rocker and a pirate

And a grocer and a gamer
And a gastroenterologist
An actor and an acrobatic epidemiologist

A soldier and a surfer
And a sexy anthropologist
A biker and a baker
And a ninja archaeologist

I'm havin’ a ball
And I’m filming it all
‘Cause I'm gonna have a TV show
When I grow up
When I grow up
Track Name: Nerdist Writers Panel
It’s the Nerdist Writers Panel
And it’s hosted by Ben Blacker
Where he gets a bunch of writers
And he asks them lots of questions
And it’s starting now so this will be the end of the theme
Track Name: The DM Is a Douche
Rum ta-tum ta-tah
The DM is a douche

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